Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:icononeofthose-rachels: More from oneofthose-rachels


Featured in Collections

Literature by PleasurelyPainful

tickle-my-ear words by sioraine

Literature by Cattsuki


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 14, 2010
File Size
4.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,308
Favourites
58 (who?)
Comments
44
×
when she cries her tears are edged with mascara and knowledge.

she's hiding under the layers and layers of makeup he slathered onto her. for the sake of making her beautiful. she's so used to the same product, but she knows she needs a new makeup remover. one that will work, wipe and clear her mind. because she doesn't need this -- but she wants it.

she's digging through the chaos of her mind, struggling to find a piece of clarity. but all she can find is despair and nights on the couch with ice cream in her lap and a phone to her ear. i thought he was the one for me, but i was wrong. again. it hurts, and sometimes when the clarity strikes her across the cheeks she realises she can't do it anymore. she can't take this anymore.

she murmurs to herself like she's suffering from a mental illness. 'he was this to me. he was that to me. but she's never asked herself what she really wanted. all she's been taught to do, time after time, was to keep his smiles under her pillows, hoping the smile fairy might grant her one wish for all her trades. as for the frowns, she stored those on her face.

but this friday night is different, she tells herself; she's listening to someone else wailing about their ex on the radio. she's smiling and her lips don't hurt, she's happy for once. then her phone lights up and she finds a text from her boyfriend. he says, this isn't working for me anymore. i'm sorry. half an hour later her best friend texts too and she says, jason was kissing alice down by the toilets. i'm sorry. she kicks the radio off the bed until it clicks itself into silence.

she snaps.

i'm sick of this. i'm sick of the same boys, the same feelings, the same disappointment. there must be something wrong with her then. how could she not find something as simple as love? it wasn't supposed to be complex. wasn't it just like Romeo and Juliet? sure, they both died at the end. but they were in love. they were in love.

five hours later, a bird warbles outside her window as she throws clothes into her backpack. her ipod hums love story into her ears, and she lets the tears slide down her face until she sees only grey. she folds against the wall, shaking, wondering what it will cost her to find a modern-day Romeo. but she already knows. she already knows that if she finds him, he will leave her for a prettier girl with tragedy in her eyes and beauty in her bones. she already knows, and today is the day she's going to make things change.

she beats it into herself, cramming the crevices and veins in her soul, that she will either find a way out of this vicious cycle of false love and heartbreak or she'll become one of those beautiful girls who will actually touch the surface of love. she had spent so long, put in so much energy to protect him and her. and every single time, he would leave her. carrying her belongings and weighed down heart, she took a while to lug herself out and start a new story. this love story was not hers, will never be. but she's been through this before, she curses to the skies and wonders why she can't stop crying, why can't she stop feeling, why can't things stop screwing up. one thought echoes inside, 'when will someone fall in love with me? when will i get my happily ever after?'"

and so she leaves.

backpack slung over her shoulder, she slams the door behind her. today is autumn but still somehow beautiful, even though things are falling apart. the sun is gold in the sky. she keeps on walking and she can almost convince herself that if she moves, if she just keeps on moving, she will be okay, she will be walking towards her own happily ever after. if she just keeps on running away from her tattered life, she will be safe from pain. maybe, fifteen miles from her old life and travelling down the interstate to nowhere, she will finally be able to escape heartbreak.

even if it breaks her heart.
heartbreak.
is there no escape?

__


a collab with the fantastic =sioraine
she's amazing :heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconredcatty:
redcatty Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011
Heart break is something that takes over you both mentally and physically. You've done a great job of really showing the emotional and mental troubles heartbreak brings
Reply
:iconpengulili:
Pengulili Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2011   Digital Artist
i think im gonna cry. . . this is like what i always go through. . . . my god this is amazing. . .
Reply
:iconmagnoliaden:
magnoliaden Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010
I almost cried.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2010
oh dear :/
i'm sorry :hug:
Reply
:iconannika235:
annika235 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010
it's beautiful =)
i'd like to think tragedy is as beautiful as this. your words got me close enough
do you think i could do a sequel to the sequel? (if you have the sequel that is.)
maybe it could be one of those chain things,and at the end of it all we'd have a complete story!

:iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:iconanemone-the-bored:
Anemone-The-Bored Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2010
There are so many beautiful things about this, that I would be quoting half of it if I had to pick my favorite parts. I love how it takes something heartbreaking and makes it beautiful. This line sums it up for me,
"today is autumn but still somehow beautiful, even though things are falling apart." Because this is life.

Great work. :heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2010
thank you, so very much :heart:
Reply
:iconanemone-the-bored:
Anemone-The-Bored Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010
:hug:
Reply
:iconpinay0201:
pinay0201 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
it was simply amazing
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
it was lovely working with you. we must do it again sometime.

:heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
we definitely must. :heart: x 21344358
Reply
:iconx-mercy-dimwit-x:
x-Mercy-Dimwit-x Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010  Student General Artist
i love it. i just wish it had a beautiful ending. i dunno, somthing like
shes walking along the road and at a turning she sees a guy walking with a bag over his shoulder, the other side of the street. about 10 minutes later they realise there both going no where. :heart: (only with prettier words course.)

Its beautiful though. and you can see where shes coming from too x
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
thank you so much. you have no idea how much i love reading your comments.

i wish it had a beautiful ending, too...but sometimes it's the pain that makes us realise what happiness is. :heart:

i would like to write a sequel, though... [:
Reply
:iconx-mercy-dimwit-x:
x-Mercy-Dimwit-x Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2010  Student General Artist
I am much honoured :D

s' good point. like children in africa make suffers of the ression look like kings. Its funny how the poorest people in the world are often the happiest ones.!

that would be really rather awesome it think.. :}
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2010
Sorry to intrude, but I'd love to see a sequel.

I think rachel would make it quite beautiful eh? :giggle:
Reply
:iconx-mercy-dimwit-x:
x-Mercy-Dimwit-x Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2010  Student General Artist
dont worry bout it, i think it would be pretty damn awesome.

yes, yes i think she would. =P
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010
<3 :] Thought so.
Reply
:iconx-mercy-dimwit-x:
x-Mercy-Dimwit-x Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010  Student General Artist
you did not tell me you were the other awesome person who wrote this! gah, i feel so un informed.
your tag line is amazing :heart: x
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010
haha, aw. :heart:
but you didn't need to know. ;D
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010
haha, yes she was :heart:
[your sig makes me smile.]
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconochixay:
ochixay Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
this is wonderful!
reminds me of the first line of don't stop believin': "just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world/she took a midnight train going anywhere..."
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
thank you! <3
i've never heard that song before, who's it by?
Reply
:iconochixay:
ochixay Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2010
journey. it's pretty old.
Reply
:iconzzzsleepyrockerzzz:
zzzsleepyrockerzzz Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010
i <3 this.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
i <3 your comment. [:
Reply
:iconxcaroline:
xcaroline Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010
beeeeeauuutiful.
:heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
thank youuu <33
Reply
:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
There is no escape, I think. At least as long as we keep seeking after the same thing. There is no perfect girl, and there never can be. There is no perfect guy. Most people can't stand the pain of love, and run at the very thought of difficulty. If you want something to last, you have to be willing to sacrifice things for it. Somedays, that means making choices you didn't want to, surrendering thoughts you had. It requires brutal honesty, and absolute forgiveness. When one of you screws up, the other has to be willing to accept the pain, and forgive. But at the same time, you have to be strong enough not to be taken advantage of.

No one on earth could ever promise on just their own strength to always love you, always care for you as their own. We have such selfish and broken hearts.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
And even when we do love someone with all our hearts, we can't always care for them, or make everything beautiful for them. Sometimes we just don't have the strength, or the time, or the power. Life is full of things we can't control.
Reply
:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly.
Reply
:icongothgirlbrandi2:
gothgirlbrandi2 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010
I can relate to this. Great job. :peace:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
i'm sorry that you can relate. :hug: but thank you for the comment, very much.
Reply
:icongothgirlbrandi2:
gothgirlbrandi2 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010
You're welcome!
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Gaaaaaah....

I need to find more time to work reading the deviations of my watch-list...as of right now, I'm reading only the bare minimum. This piece....is soooo wonderful. And in a way, it's sort of funny to me, too....because I came to college thinking the same exact thing. that I could break my own bad cycle of relationships...that I could find a guy who was DIFFERENT. And I DID find him...but it took me three years of constantly going back to the same old type from home first.

Great work, to the both of you!
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
thank you very much! i'm glad that you did find that guy. :heart:

and, haha, i have the same problem too! my inbox fills up reaal fast XD
Reply
:iconhamletcell:
HamletCell Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010
he will leave her for a prettier girl with tragedy in her eyes and beauty in her bones.
that line is so pretty :heart:
Reply
:iconilustyoumore:
ilustyoumore Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010
I VERY AGREE. i am feeling this way right now, and this line took my breath away.. stunning.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
thanks so much, from the both of us <3
Reply
:iconebony-tiger:
Ebony-Tiger Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010  Student General Artist
It is!
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010
haha, thank youu <3
Reply
:iconebony-tiger:
Ebony-Tiger Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010  Student General Artist
^^
Reply
Add a Comment: