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when she said "i love you" she really meant i'm sorry, but the words mutated in her throat and she choked and all that stumbled out was a broken piece of poetry.

"your lips taste like stars,"
and she was lying, lying, lying
underneath the darkvelvet sky listening to the rise and fall of his breath. what she really wanted to say was, i'm sorry i fucked up.

shit it wasn't her fault. there was nothing between them but his smile and the fabric of her shirt. she couldn't breathe.

he doesn’t understand.
she can’t let people get too close.

because there was nothing between them but her hands on his chest, and when he leaned in she had no words. she couldn't tell him that his breath burned her skin like he was setting her on fire. his eyes were scarlet and the veins on his hands snaked to his elbow like rivers. he reminded her of too much, and she couldn't show him the bruises. because he would tell her to run away, fly into the sky, leave home.

but she can’t.

and when he found her by the bleachers and demanded an explanation the words tumbled into her brain like an ocean, roaring and shrieking.

i'm sorry.

see, in the dark he looked just like you and he was saying all these sweet things.
and i was afraid of you, because you'd seen far too much and i was terrified that one day you would see through me and find me transparent-like-glass. see, in the dark i knew he wasn't you, but it was almost comforting. he didn't know me and that made it okay.

see, he didn't mean anything to me, but you mean too much and that's why i had to back away. see, i really like you. i do.


but she can't say it.

and her explanations are wasted anyway, because she would give him the universe, but all that comes out is "iloveyouiloveyou"</i> like a broken record. he is lost. he is no longer listening. he is walking away and raindrops are trickling down his cheeks.

see, he needs to know the words she's not saying.
i'm sorry i kissed him.
i’m sorry. it was dark and i was afraid.
i'm sorry i fucked up.

i'm sorry, but i had to push you away.
you know too much.
i don't even know.
this dropped out of the sky.

comments welcome :heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconjoufancyhuh:
joufancyhuh Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
You've been featured here! [link] :D
Reply
:iconerukalice:
erukalice Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2009
..Guh. So amazing. I understand... semi well. Getting to close to people makes me uncomfortable. So I can understand the actions of your make-believe girl. xD
Great work...once again. I suppose I'm going on a comment spree throughout your gallery. 8D
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009
well, i love reading your comments! :heart:
Reply
:iconanemone-the-bored:
Anemone-The-Bored Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2009
Beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
thank you. :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009  Professional Photographer
It's probably bad that I can relate to this...definitely a painful one, to read and no doubt to write :hug:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2009
oh, it was.
:hug:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2009
:heart:xgoogleplex. or however you spell it.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2009
gah thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconoffbyzero:
offbyzero Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2009
see, he needs to know the words she's not saying.
I think that sort of broke the mood of the poem. The "see" with the narrator sort of interrupting the flow.

I adored it, though.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2009
thank you! <3
Reply
:iconmarmonica:
Marmonica Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2009
I was wondering what this was leading up to but the last few lines totally clenched it. Nice one :)
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2009
thank you very much :heart:
i wondered if the last lines were enough, so i'm very glad that you think so (:
Reply
:iconthe-chemical-factory:
the-chemical-factory Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
this is damn good. :heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2009
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
sadfsda LOVELY!
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2009
sasdfgh THANK YOU!
Reply
:iconyshura:
Yshura Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
This is sad, yet beautiful. Isn't that always how sadness goes?
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
:nod: oh, it is...but the beauty doesn't take away the pain, does it?

and thank you, very much. :heart:
Reply
:iconyshura:
Yshura Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Sadly not.
<3
Reply
:iconochixay:
ochixay Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
this makes me so sad, i want to kill someone.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
oh no! D:
don't do that, wouldn't want you to go to jail on account of this...:XD:
Reply
:iconochixay:
ochixay Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
naw, i wouldn't want to go to jail either. but perhaps i could kill them slyly ;)
just kidding. i'll go listen to happy music, that will relieve my pain.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2009
LOL!
haha, happy music works for me too <3 in fact, i love this one right now [link] by owl city (:
Reply
:iconochixay:
ochixay Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2009
thanks for the link, i like it. :)
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2009
you're welcome!
i like it too :)
Reply
:iconexplodingdog:
ExplodingDog Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
i don't think that was the intention!
Reply
:iconochixay:
ochixay Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
i don't think so either. but it's just so heartbreaking!

which i think was the intention, at least partly.
Reply
:iconiheldyoucloser:
iheldyoucloser Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
i love your writing.
this is so beautiful, so tragic...
so gorgeous.
i love your words to pieces.
:heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
you are, incredible.
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconchehiro7:
Chehiro7 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
Wow... This is amazing. You are so incredibly talented.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
you're amazing.
thank you so much :heart: that means a lot to me!
Reply
:iconchehiro7:
Chehiro7 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
Your ideas are so original, and the words you use to describe them... Amazing.
Reply
:iconscionoflove:
ScionOfLove Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
wonderful. just..wonderful.
saddening. powerful.

why haven't i heard of you?

well anyway, that was amazingly written

slight mistake here.

"demanded and explanation the words tumbled"
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
oh wow.
thanks so much!

(and for pointing out that typo, too :hug:)
Reply
:iconscionoflove:
ScionOfLove Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
it's no problem. you remind me of what i write :P. just like sioraine.
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
;__; I'm glad this dropped into your palms though. So you could write it for everyone to see. It's amazing. I vaguely remember something like this happening once. Different story, different people. But the same heart break, no?

:heart:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
thank you, so incredibly much. :heart: i'm so glad you think so.
and ohh, yeah. heartbreak gets us every single time, no?
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
yes, every single damn time. But that's life and love. It's almost an endless cycle.
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
oh, it is. so far i haven't seen the end to it.


(you know, we should so do our collab on this...i'm thinking something along the lines of "running away from heartbreak", but i'm not very sure. what do you think? :heart:)
Reply
:iconsioraine:
sioraine Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
personally, me neiter.

[that would be freaking amazing! i very much like the idea. haha. note me and we can start. :3)
Reply
:iconamaya16:
Amaya16 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
I totally love this!!! :heart: it's sort of painful tho... *sigh*
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
aww, thank you, so very much. :heart:
(oh, it was painful for me to write *sighs also*)
Reply
:icongoddess-on-my-knees:
goddess-on-my-knees Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
wow
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
thankyou :heart:
Reply
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